Mom Hacks
A Mother's Day gift from us, to us
This post is in celebration of Mother’s Day, which I know can be a complicated day for a multitude of reasons. If that’s the case for you, skip this one & please take care. 🌼
Otherwise, if you’re reading this in email, note that you might have to hit “expand” to read the whole thing.
It was a cold Saturday in late March. If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll know that my husband works every Saturday, which means I’m solo parenting my two kids (aged six and two) and our puppy every weekend.
I had just schlepped the kids to a swim lesson and back again to let Indy out for a potty break when he decided that no, he’d just pee on the floor. My daughter was screaming for me to hold her and my son was complaining that we never do anything fun.
Put frankly, I was unwell.
I turned to the only thing I could in the moment (an episode of Bluey) and fled for the outdoors with Indy for four minutes of fresh air and a rage text to my girlfriends to vent.
The moms are not always alright — and we need each other to right the ship. It’s certainly what I needed (along with an Advil and a vacation alone) in that moment.
One of my favorite things about women (and fellow moms in particular) is how freely we share. Shopping recommendations, skincare routines, travel itineraries, hair stylists, the thing that finally worked for the sleep regression, the hack that saved a Tuesday. We want to share what we’re loving, what’s working, and what’s not (or at least the real ones do, anyway!).
It’s a big part of why I love writing on Substack: the community I’ve built here is essentially a formalized version of what I’ve always loved about female friendship.
So when I started noodling on a Mother's Day post dedicated to mom hacks — the things we're doing right now to save our sanity — turning to this community felt like a no-brainer.
Today I’ve asked some friends and fellow Substack writers to share their best hack of the moment, and THANK GOD they did. Truly, there are some incredible sanity-saving tips in here.
I’m also extremely grateful to Sundays for sponsoring today’s post. Sundays is a mom-founded executive assistant service built for ambitious parents (whatever ambition looks like for you). They’re on a mission to erase the motherhood penalty through real, practical support at home, work, and everywhere in between.
I’ve been lucky enough to work with one of their amazing EAs, Kylah, over the last month, and I can attest that she is the ultimate mom hack. Thus far, Kylah has tackled my passport renewal application, preschool comparisons, summer camp scheduling, client expenses, and flight research. Next up: help with my personal website and weekly craft ideas to do with my kids on Solo Parenting Saturdays™. What can’t she do?!
If you find yourself trying to hold your entire family’s life in your head (and judging from the below, many of you do), Sundays might be exactly what you’re missing.
Just a Splash readers get 10% off their first month — use my link and enter code ARIANE at checkout.
P.S. I also asked Kylah and Sundays founder, Ashley, to share their hacks — you’ll find them (and mine) in the mix below. Each section is alphabetized by first name.
How we ask for help
Ariane Anusbigian, Just a Splash:
I’ve written about this before, but high schoolers!! And mature middle schoolers. I’ve recruited several high schoolers in the neighborhood (within walking distance) who I can text last-minute as an extra set of hands so that I can do things like shower alone or unload the dishwasher without a toddler koala attached to me. The nice thing specifically about a middle or high schooler is they don’t yet cost $25+/hr and they’re eager. Maybe you’re not hiring them to handle bedtime on their own just yet, but as a daytime or early evening reprieve to take the edge off? The best. (S/o to our favorite neighborhood sitter who literally saves us on a weekly basis! No, seriously. I want her to move in, but sadly she’s a freshman and needs to live at home!)
Ashley Chang Dawson, Founder & CEO of Sundays:
My current favorite mom hack: hiring a home assistant outside of our childcare setup. She comes once a week to do laundry, reset the house, and handle the small organizing tasks that pile up — like pulling out the baby clothes my son has outgrown. It's a big investment for us, but it helps us get our weekends back without the burden of all the chores we don't have time for during the week weighing us down. The time we get back is time we get to spend together, truly present as a family.
Janelle Taylor, Romance Adjacent:
The only thing that has worked for us in this stage of life is recruiting another person to help. Bonus if this person also cleans up all the toys when they're on duty (KEY!). For me, this is my mom. When she's with my boys, it's the only time I can actually get anything done (mostly laundry!).
Kate Lowman, Cedar Street Studio:
Instacart quite literally changed my life. Once I realized my time was my most valuable asset, outsourcing errands became a no brainer. I would much rather invest that time back into my business, creativity, family, and myself than spend it wearing the house manager hat all week.
Kaitlyn Elizabeth, Dialoguing:
Share a babysitter with your kid’s friend’s families. This came to us by accident when a babysitter we had booked for a night was contacted by another mom for the same night. The babysitter said she’d be happy to watch both of our kids. This works on a lot of levels: (1) the caregiver will make more money, (2) it’s easier for the caregiver because the kids will play with each other, (3) it’s ultimately cheaper for you, (4) it increases the chances you’ll actually be able to find childcare, and (5) it’s great for the kids too because they get to socialize. And if it’s a caregiver from a daycare or preschool, they will be making more money per hour than they do at work with fewer kids. They’re pros, so it’s a walk in the park for them comparatively.
Libby McCurrach, You Look Great:
I grew up in an era when getting a babysitter signified a special occasion for my parents — date night, theater tickets, an adult dinner party, etc. It never would have occurred to them to just GET a babysitter, and I realized I was living under this arbitrary rule from a different time from a different relationship. Destigmatizing getting a babysitter for absolutely no reason other than you need a free minute is the greatest mom hack in the world and makes you 99% less likely to murder your partner.
Liz Best McKay, The Best Edit:
Honestly, my biggest mom hack of the moment is direct and clear communication with my husband, which sounds simple but can be really tough sometimes with two kids running around. We’re really honest with each other when one of us is about to hit the wall and encourage each other to hit the gym or go lie down. I’m also building my community of mom friends, and knowing I’ll see a friendly face a few times a week is so nice! My kids and Janelle Taylor’s are the same ages and this pic is one she took of me at a tennis class our kids tried out- fighting for my life but still very happy to be around good friends. Building a community of solid mom friends has taken time for me, but it’s life changing!
Nicole Prince, Double Dutch:
We all know and love the admin date! My latest hack builds on that concept: once a month, I get a babysitter on Saturday or Sunday from 9AM-2PM. My husband and I go to a coffee shop and work on whatever’s been on our mind — lately I write and he draws up floor plans for our renovation. Once we feel like we’ve accomplished enough, we grab lunch and maybe stop at the MCM furniture warehouse. We arrive back home when the littlest two are napping. Truly has been a sanity-saver!
How we take care of ourselves
Elin Strong, Bang Voyage:
Aside from taking Magna-Tiles everywhere we go (trust), my biggest mom hack is taking a night off from being a mom. My husband and I started giving each other one “night off” during the week for solo time, and it’s made the whole week feel more manageable. On Wednesdays starting at 5pm, I’m off duty and doing something just for me: Pilates, a long everything shower + red light mask, or a night out with girlfriends. It’s a game changer.
Jayme Cyk, I’m On An Antidepressant:
Once my son Rory goes to bed, I make it fully about me. I start with my nightly skincare routine, then I clean the kitchen, pick up his toys, and make sure there isn’t any laundry sitting in the washing machine, at the very least getting it into the dryer, even if it doesn’t get folded that night. Then I change into sweatpants and plop onto the couch to watch TV (I LOVE TV). I’m usually always working during this time, but watching something gives me comfort. And because I’ve taken care of everything beforehand, I don’t have to get off the couch until I go to bed. It might sound a little lazy, but in my head, it’s just practical.
Jennifer Cook, mom friend:
Sincerest apologies, but my best and only mom hack is early mornings. My daughter generally wakes up around 7, so I set aside two hours before that to get my own shit done. It’s when I plan for the day and/or week, catch up on outstanding work, journal and/or stare into space, work on my Substack, and do fun things like taxes and budgeting. It’s kind of incredible how much one can get done in silence with a good cup of coffee, and though it can be an adjustment, I promise you won’t regret carving out some personal and admin time for yourself every morning… even if it’s just 30 minutes.
Mica Keeney, Motherhood Muses:
I’m a massive nail-biter. Always have been, and I think unfortunately always will be? (The absolutely disgusting “Stop-And-Grow” that I was given as a British kid was hideous, but still didn’t work.)
So I’ve always gotten my nails done - extensions that can take up to 3 hours (!!!). Pre-kid, it was relaxing:no phone, music, a book. But now? More stress than it‘s worth. My time is precious, and the panic when they start growing out? I’m giving myself a breather, and taking those hours back for other things that bring me joy these days like writing or the playground with my daughter!
Tricia Torley, Immensely Dramatic:
I think my hack is having a monthly massage membership and appointment (I’m just leaving mine [as I write this] lol). It is so easy for me to push self care to the bottom of the list and I find motherhood to be so physically demanding on top of the mental load. This is something I’ve prioritized since my oldest was two and I don’t know if I could ever go back.
How we run our house
Alexandra Sperrazza, studio still:
I love including my 5-year-old in activities we need to do [around the house]. This past weekend, he helped me plant some flowers. Sure, it was a little messier and slower, but he loved digging the holes, and I loved his company!
Antonia, Scandi Delights:
We do “ninja cleaners” at home, where everyone tidies up as fast (and sneakily) as possible. It turns cleanup into a game instead of a battle, and somehow it actually works.
I also photograph all of my son’s drawings and turn them into a photo book each year so he can look back on them. He’s obsessed with drawing, but the paper can quickly take over the house, so this way we get to keep the memories without the clutter.
Emily Schoen, Journal:
To limit clutter on the counter, I literally just tape all of my son’s art on the wall, and it ends up just looking like one big collage instead of a messy pile!
Fanny Adams, Always Overdressed:
My initial response was to wear noise cancelling headphones while you watch trashy TV and cook dinner. I tend to be totally overstimulated by dinnertime and it’s my way of checking out while cooking and enjoying a glass of wine. But the thing that’s really saved us is taking turns with bedtime/mornings. My oldest is past being tucked in, but my 8-year-old still requires snuggles and some reading. Whoever does his bedtime then does the following morning’s breakfast/school/bus shenanigans for both kids. It helps prevent burnout and creates some structure for our Type B family.
Kait Santos, Align by Kait Santos:
My biggest unlock in recent years has been loading the dishwasher throughout the day, running it at night (even if it’s not totally full), and unloading it in the morning. This may be common knowledge to everyone already, but it’s made a big difference in managing the kitchen — it feels like the whole kitchen is a mess when there are dishes in the sink, and this keeps them from piling up.
When I’m solo parenting, I’ll try to prep small things as much as possible to make my life easier. For example, before picking up the kids after work, I’ll lay my daughter’s PJs and swaddle down in the crib, put out my son’s PJs, bath towels, plates on the dinner table, etc. Anything I can do while they’re not yet around will feel more manageable than when they’re home bopping around/in my arms/asking for a million things at one time.
Katelyn Cnossen, Spilling the Tea:
As a speech language pathologist my mom hack is to only have a few toys out at a time. We keep the toys organized in bins or a wagon. Every two weeks rotate the toys so they feel fresh and new. Not only does this declutter your space and feel like adults actually live there — but you are supporting their development: language, play, attention!
Katherine Corden, The Art Table:
To save myself from looking at toy clutter all day, I try to maximize creative and attractive storage solutions — these stacking Hay baskets with locking casters that easily tuck away under a bench or console. Along with a vintage wooden bowl holding crayons, they hold all our art supplies for the kids to pull out at whim (i.e. without asking me to get another thing out for them). Form and function!
How we feed our family
Courtney Falsey, Don’t Forget to Call Mom!:
Something that’s been helping me simplify dinner recently is buying chicken tender meat instead of a breast or thigh. They cook SO much faster and are super easy to toss on top of salads during the week and to have on hand as your kids’ lunch or dinner protein. Season with garlic powder, salt and pepper and cook for about 3 minutes on each side in a cast iron pan. Voila!
Meggie Arbelaez, Megs Mail:
I’m not a morning person but my kids are like roosters, so take this as your non-morning person mom hack: always have baked oats in the fridge. Kids eat right away and I can drink my coffee in peace without hangry meltdowns. This recipe is our favorite!
Natalia Cropper, The Glow Down:
My ultimate mom hack is the pre-meal veggie charcuterie. Kids are hungrier before a meal, so offering vegetables in a relaxed, grazing context equals no pressure and more eating. I set out a tray of pre-chopped veggies before supper, and they gobble them up. (Veggies with the meal? A hard no.)
Natalia Herrera, La Petite Colombiana:
My daughter is 7 and has always been a picky eater. My biggest hack lately? Letting her help me cook. When she’s stirring the sauce or seasoning the food, she’s invested and excited, and it’s a good way for her to see different ingredients and textures. She always wants to taste what she has made. It doesn’t guarantee a clean plate, but it gets her to actually try, and honestly, that’s a win for me.
Whitney Goodman, WM Goods:
This might be so basic but I have a note in my phone for groceries — when we run out of things, I immediately add them to the list so I don’t forget. If I’m really on my game, I’ll sit down and plot out meals for the week, add a checklist of ingredients to the top, and a meal plan including what dishes will be cooked on what days at the bottom. I note the cookbook name and page number next to each dish to make things as streamlined as possible.
How we survive the day
Alexandra de Lara, Taking Shape:
My “hack” is committing to 10 min of uninterrupted time with each of my kids. This fills their cup and also makes me feel less guilty in the moments when I do have to multitask. My other hack is my “to go” restaurant activity bag filled with activities to entertain them when we go out to eat (coloring books, stickers etc). Lastly, always bring snacks.
Elle Sundberg, Elle Dresses Well:
My slightly unhinged mom hack is to entertain my 9 month old with masking tape stuck to the floor. He loves picking at it with his tiny fingers for I swear 20 minutes. Just enough time to throw together dinner.
Ellen Mote, Kunsthalle:
Not expecting my kids to act like adults is one of my best hacks because it relieves the expectation that they should be acting more maturely.
Jennifer Klee, Some Such Whatnot:
Every minute I’ve spent teaching my kids card games like Gin Rummy and Go Fish has paid major dividends. They stay occupied while traveling, it’s an easy and fun thing to do with grandparents, and it naturally cuts down on screen time. I’ve also learned that the best place for challenging but not traumatic conversations about things like sex, bad grades, manners, or friend drama is the car. Pick a far-off Target or ice cream shop, buckle in, and talk while you’ve got a captive audience.
Ilana Torbiner, Ilana’s Substack:
Shower time hack: I bring [my daughter] Willa’s bath into the shower with me every evening for bath time. She sits in the tub playing completely entertained with a cup and soap, and could play like that indefinitely. There’s no rushing or wondering what she’s getting into in the bathroom drawers, and we both get a peaceful rinse out of the deal.
Jordyn Sharfe, The Hardware Store:
Recently, I’ve compiled a small toy box that I leave in my car and bring out when we take the kids to restaurants or for occasions where they might need to sit semi-quietly. It’s got a couple mini puzzles and little building trinkets that are small enough to play with at the table. It only comes out for those moments so the toys stay exciting for them. Works like a charm so far!
Kylah Acloque, EA at Sundays:
Something I’ve learned from working with my clients at Sundays is to pre-plan everything down to the T to avoid chaos later. [So], if we’re at a late-night family gathering, I pack my son’s pajamas and bath routine so he can wind down there and ride home cozy in his PJs. They always fall asleep in the car anyway — so why not cut out an extra step?
Madeline Nachbar, Mad For:
My current mom hack: start a shared note with your mom friends and treat it like a living little black book of kid-friendly plans. Whenever you hit that “what are we doing today?” wall, you’ve got a crowd-sourced lineup—the best parks, kid-friendly restaurants and spots, indoor gyms, museums, other tried-and-true spots—ready to go. I have a 5 and an almost 4 year old, so clearly we welcome any chance to leave the house to “get our beans out,” as we say…as sitting at home can make me go a little mad.
Maura Brannigan, Clotheshorse:
My secret weapon for weekend overstimulation: a cute outfit, two excited kids, and a straight shot to the library. Ours has a fantastic children's section with free programming and activities — which means we inevitably run into friends, and I get some actual adult conversation while the girls toddle around with their buddies. Find your local story time, get out of the house, and let the library do the heavy lifting for an hour. You're welcome.
Meighan Grady, i think it’s brave:
The best advice I got from a fellow mom — when everything is going wrong, go outside. No matter what time of day or the weather, and even if it’s only a few minutes, going outside regulates both mom and baby. I swear, it works every time.
Nicole Cherelle, Dressed in Context:
JAM: Just Add Music 🎶 I’m currently solo parenting and the first thing I do each morning is play an album called Calm Kids. (Though we all know whose emotions actually need regulating and it ain’t theirs…!) Amongst the screams of one twin demanding yet another pancake, another chucking his entire syrupy plate on the floor, my eldest moving at a glacial pace, and did I mention I’m in the thick of potty training two boys 🤯 — music just mellows everything out. The whining and madness are still there, but it all feels just a bit lighter with Somewhere Over the Rainbow playing in the background. And I’m sure this hack will evolve as they do. One day I’ll be using it to counteract the moody silence of 3 hormonal teens. I’ll report back 😏
Nicole Garelick, The Performance Plan:
When my husband started traveling weekly for work, I began dreading bath time as this was his domain. So I taught my sons to shower each other. I give them the handheld shower in my bathroom and let them go buck wild with soap. Bath time has never been better since.
Xue, Xue:
My biggest mom hack has been treating independence like the most exciting perk of elementary school. Since day one, my 9-year-old has laid out her clothes and packed her bag the night before, wakes herself up and gets ready on her own in the morning, and empties her backpack and does homework when she gets home. We did training wheels at the beginning, going through everything together for a few weeks, then I slowly stepped back while playing up the “big girl school” energy. She took the bait. Now she’s moved on to packing her own bag and managing her own money for vacations!
Thank you, ladies! Some brilliant hacks in there, if I do say so myself.
I hope today’s letter spurred something for you, or maybe just made you feel a little less alone in the beautiful chaos that is raising children. You are doing an amazing job. YOU are the very best mom!
And lastly: if I missed you in this letter, please know I’d still very much love to hear your favorite mom hack in the comments. It’s a fear of mine to leave a pal feeling excluded — I very much want us all to feel included.
Happy Mother’s Day to us all!
xx Ariane
And don’t forget to check out Sundays to learn more about all the different packages they offer, big and small. Code ARIANE will save you 10% off your first month too :).
Cover Image: Mary Cassatt, Breakfast in Bed, 1897
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Look out world…you don’t want moms comparing notes! So. Many. Good. Nuggets. Thanks for including me in such excellent company, Ariane 🫶🏻
Some real lightbulb moments in here!! Will be forwarding to my mom group chats. Thanks for including me!