Being alone with time to kill

a rarity

Sometimes I draft and schedule Substack letters. Sometimes I write them live. Today’s letter is falling into the latter category! We’ll call this one a “journal entry” of sorts.

I had a whirlwind week this past week that included:

• a family member’s wedding in Detroit

• 22 hours in NYC (where I met both Erika Veurink and Jennifer Cook irl — an absolute pleasure, had dinner with my brothers, went for a 7:30 am walk in the rain with my friend, had matcha with a very cool woman I might do some freelance work with, AND squeezed in some solo shopping — more below)

• 48 hours in the Hudson Valley visiting my best friend and her family (including her 8 week old!)

• my 1yo standing up, on her own, for the first time!

• my 5yo’s Pre-K graduation (cried, obviously)

• the No King’s protest (brought my 5yo and was very proud of him)

• a lemonade stand (so cute)

• Father’s Day celebrations

• my brother-in-law’s band’s first concert in Michigan (he lives in Brooklyn now, as cool 20-somethings do)

The answer is no.

Friend and former coworker Alex Sperrazza agrees.

The week was a lot, but also energizing. Of course I’ve loved the slower days with my 1yo the past couple of months. But, I do like being busy and this past week reminded me of that.

Life is full of seasons and I know I’m in a season of transition. I’m trying on different hats to see what fits. Most importantly, I am doing my best to just say “yes” to things, put myself out there, and be open to whatever the universe has in store.

1.5 hours of shopping in NYC

There is virtually no retail in Ann Arbor, so when I travel, shopping is high priority. I don’t really like online shopping — I much prefer to see/feel things in person and try them on before buying. Also, returns! The worst.

I had limited free time in the city and it was pouring, but I made a couple stops. Here are a few things I tried on and loved:

• Aritzia tube top in black and white. I am into the return of the tube top (I also have no boobs, which helps) and imagine wearing it with a skirt or high-waisted flowy pants this summer.

• These buttery soft, red woven leather Freda Salvador ballet flats that many of you already have (and for good reason). I didn’t buy them, but I want them. I’m pictured in them above.

• Instead, I treated myself to the fisherman sandals that my very stylish friend Katherine sold me (and several other friends) on during a meetup in Bethesda last month (to meet another best friend’s new baby!) They look heavy, but they’re not and there’s no break-in time. How?!

• A perfect green linen button-down from Alex Mill. Another didn’t buy, but want. I’m trying to adopt Elin Strong’s concept of fun money — maybe this will be for a future month.

Highlights from 48 hours upstate

Ugh, so many highlights. My friend lives on a beautiful 40-acre farm (!) and I had a guest cottage to myself, so there’s that. I woke up to the sound of the stream outside my window each morning and sipped (hot) coffee in bed. I snuggled her 8-week-old baby and went to dinner at the newly opened Little Goat (same owner as Inness). It was all pretty magical.

The fisherman sandals!! I love them. Also, thanks to Jess Graves & LSD, I pulled out an “SLB” I got in Mexico City years ago.

My mom asked me recently, “What do you like about solo travel?

In actuality, there’s a lot I don’t like about solo travel. I don’t like flying alone. I get anxious being away from my family. I stress about what to pack.

But I do think that traveling alone is important from time to time, especially as a parent. It gives you the chance to recharge, connect with friends 1:1, and remind yourself of who you are away from your partner and kids. And perhaps most importantly: it gives you the chance and the space to miss it all.

And so, after all that excitement, after giving myself the chance and space to miss my day-to-day of school drop offs, kitchen clean-ups, and nap times, I headed home to a baby who was standing, a big kid who was graduating from Pre-K, and a husband who loves and encourages me to miss it all.

And I just thought: how lucky am I?

Speaking of feeling lucky: Coterie sent me their new Flush Wipe (my first PR box haha). I want to hate everything they make, but in fact, I love everything they make (which is why we subscribe to their diapers).

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